Mumbo-Jumbo

I think it's funny that right when I am about to shut down for the evening and get some shut eye a burst of thoughts come flooding into my head and are busting at the seams to get out and explore my empty blog pages. This is draft two I have talked with a couple people about how most of my posts come with days or weeks in between debut I spit the words out and then days later go back and piece it all together && while I wonder if anyone is truly reading and keeping tabs on my latest mumbo-jumbo I look at my blog stats and overwhelming become surprised and blessed to see all the readership that is out there. So with that, thank you readers! Because of you and your eyes that read I will continue to write. Not to mention some really nice texts that give me that extra boost that lets me know someone is reading --- talk about refreshing!

Life is full of changes lately, mostly meaning I moved into a new room and let me tell you it feels like I own a house of something, I have been scrubbing walls, showers, sinks, and sorting through mounds of clothes and figuring out how to arrange my room to fit a new roommate in a month --- no big deal. But I'm liking my new 'home.' Aside from moving I have still and yes STILL dealing with transitional issues from the aftermath of traveling and fingers crossed my doc has it all figured out and on the correct medicine now!! My goodness, its been interesting I guess Africa hasn't wanted to leave me yet ha-ha.

Upon moving, unpacking, organizing, etc I found my journals and notebook from my travels. I read them.

June 13. Last handwritten journal.

I am so thankful that I took the time to blog. Because after my journal ended I read my past blog posts. And in preparation for my presentation at the end of August for a woman's group I am becoming inspired! I am so thankful that I blogged to share my experiences but more importantly I am thankful that I wrote it all down in my personal journals and within those pages holds raw all over the place emotion and it has the power to bring me right back to those days. In reading through those pages and through the several blog posts --- I get this feeling of being stuck.

I think about rejuvenated and refreshed and hopeful I came back feeling however now I'm sitting in my 'new' room with all the same things I had before I left except a stack of beautiful photos and devotionals and a slew of e-mails to friends I have made in Senegal. However, what have I done to get myself back there or what I have I done to make this coming school year for the schools I worked in, let me tell you. Not.a.damn.thing. 

And guess what that bothers me. I do not want to be stuck. I do not want to get caught up in the same routines, the same group of draining people, and goodness gracious I want to make a change. Not only for my own well-being for the well-beings of so many people around me locally and also abroad.

With that being said I have ideas --- yep lots of them. They are brewing, stirring, churning in my noggin and I think now that I have faced the music it is time to start making thoughts into actions. And I leave this post with a wonderful song that motivates me cause it speaks to so many things. Happy Tuesday, keep reading I'll start posting more - stay posted to more changes!

Another Year Down

Well I welcome my 22nd year of life with a smile on my face and gratitude to where the last year has led me. While many people take the time to do this on New Years starting with new resolutions and goals for a new  year, I think people have it all wrong. Why do it when the years changes, we wouldn't be who we are without a day of birth. So reflecting back on my 21st year of life I take time to soak all up and to really be thankful and happy for another day of birth. What better way to do that than through some photos!

In a year I have learned a lot and maybe I am more aware because I am a year wiser (highly doubtful). From going out for my first legal drink I rang in a new year with friends and Phil and Sam. I spent time with family on the boat as well. I have gained a second family working for the family I work for in Kalamazoo and get to hang out with two now three amazing boys, they help me my soul young. I experienced what it was like to tackle a long distance relationship with a boy who works for the Tigers and the perks that come with that as well as the highs and unfortunate lows. I also did things this past summer like sail for the first time with Caroline what a blast. We welcomed new comers to decorate cookies. I moved into a new place that I call home in Kalamazoo and started from scratch decorating, making it cozy and adjusting to living with a new roommate. We welcomed Christmas with a real tree and decorations. I took up a new hobby of mountain biking and love it! I learned to enjoy different types of music by attending it in concert. I welcomed a new sister and threw a bridal shower and stood in the wedding. Family growing is pretty awesome if I do say so myself. I realized how fantastic Britt is as a person and friend and was able to celebrate her birthday in October and she made a couple trips to see me in Kalamazoo for a night out and a night in -- both times classics! I have also become close to others and it is so refreshing to be surrounded by people who lift you up, make you experience experiences I wouldn't normally do (paintballing, etc.) and having your back always. I had the opportunity to finish a year of course work and teach a awesome young man who is something else and that smile above still gets me and puts a smile on my face and giggle in my belly. I conquered a 10k, now on to a half marathon. I experience friends and Brads life accomplishments. I have struggled and dealt with family trials and health, and I am firm believer it makes us all stronger. 

All of these events and there are many I am forgetting have shaped and led me to so much & as this year bring another birthday I take a moment to realize that my birthday marks a month from being back from Africa. What a beautiful thing, what a beautiful thing that experience has done to me and how it has shaped me. I think it is a good day to celebrate!

I start my 22nd year of life with a bang! I wanna take all the good in and be away with the bad and negative life sucking things in my life. I want to laugh more, live more, do more, help more. Be more. I wanna make new friends and become closer with the old ones and filter out the ones who don't care. Life is too short to not be living it. And with each new year we are blessed with the good fortunes of getting yet another shot at living life to its fullest and embracing it all. After all laughter, friends, family, the goals in which I set for myself are good they are rejuvenating. And like never before I am motivated and driven in a whole new way. Here is to my 22nd year of life where changes will happen, memories will be made, pictures will capture those moments, and laughter will be had followed with those tears that are necessary to fill the scars and burns that life will always throw our way. 

Happy Birthday to me! And thank you to all who made my birthday celebrations so truly special --- you all are amazing && I love you!

*****

NEW && IMPROVED!

FollowThrough has a new look with new changes and links, etc. I plan to post more about it soon, until then keep reading, keep smiling & keep loving!

One last thing -- I want to end this post with something Britt wrote in my birthday card, I love it and it really sums up the essence of this whole post:

"I hope that your birthday brings you great joy, but more importantly I hope that each day from here on out brings you great joy. That you will be able to wake up each day and be reminded of this one thing 'This is the day the LORD has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it.- Psalm 118:24 --- Make every second of your 22nd year count!"

Thank you!

This post is far overdue and so necessary and today feels like a good day to be thankful for all of you!

My parents. They both deserve a standing ovation for parenting and allowing all three of us to run free. They have to think I am crazy by now, but I'd like to think that they know I know what I'm doing. I have been so blessed with great parents who let me chase after my crazy dreams and who never set limits on what I can do. They have continually encouraged and allowed me to do what my heart feels. I have no clue where this drive and desire to go do good comes from but I have to give credit to my parents. They have allowed us to grow up on a childhood where we could do and be whatever we wanted to do. And while some times parent child relationships can bring its challenges they have never, ever held my brothers and I back from doing whatever we wanted to do. While they might not always agree with the decisions or desires we believe are the best, they always allowed us to figure out for ourselves. When approached with the desire to go to Africa they were not hesitant to let me go (well maybe, but I never felt a doubt). That is something truly remarkable. It is easy to take for granted parents and I have learned that while being in Dakar. There have been times where I have felt held back, and clipped of the wings to fly. However with Dakar I really let go, I went out on a limb and thankfully I was able to have the support of my parents. I will never truly be able to tell them how thankful I am for all that they do and have done for our family and for each one of us individually. I know that the three of us kids are different from one another and each of us strive for different things and want different things out of life, however my parents create a bond that hold us all together and allows us to build off of each others strengthens and weaknesses. That is something truly remarkable and heartwarming. I hope one day to be able to provide my children with the lifestyle, hopes, dreams, and motivations that I have been so blessed with. It is not every child who can say that they have had parents who have allowed them to do or be whatever they have wanted to be, luckily I am one who can say that. And I want to let my parents know I am truly thankful for that. They allowed me to travel half way around the world and embark on a journey one in its own and to truly embrace and touch the lives of others without any question as to why. And even since i have returned I have been moved by the motivation and determination to keep doing more.It is with their guidance, love, support, and times of space that has allowed me thrive and flourish into who I am becoming as an adult. And while I still need their guidance and love as I mature into an adult I know that with what they have given me throughout the years I will continue to grow and flourish into whom ever I want to become. And I will always know, and want them to know, that it is due to their continued love and support and their guidance to this point in my life. I owe a great deal of thankfulness, love, and gratitude to them. Without their love and support I would not have been able to travel abroad and would not feel the motivation and movement towards my future. I love them with all my heart and am from the bottom of my heart thankful for both of you. I love you.

Bradley. Thank you for reminding me to keep dreaming and to follow my own dreams. Although the thought of me being half way around the world was quite the change to our relationship you never once hesitated for me to go, and for that I am so beyond thankful. I am so thankful for you being part of my life and bringing me such joy and happiness and always pushing me to keep reaching for more and doing what my heart tells me to do. I am also so thankful for those numerous FaceTime chats where all I could do was cry. I tried to seal it up with a bow and nice colorful wrapping paper however you have a way of breaking me down and making me feel comfortable enough to not keep it all locked up and to let it out. Thank you for sticking with me through it all and being so supportive and encouraging throughout my whole time prior, during and after. You have really been a trooper.I am so thankful for being in a relationship that challenges each other to be all that we can be all while challenging our relationship to new heights.We have grown so much in this past year and I think Dakar has only helped flourish us. You are amazing and you continue to encourage me and chase your own dreams daily and that is something that is contagious and inspiring. Your love is so great and your drive and passion for living life is something my life needed almost six years ago. I love you so much, thank you, thank you, thank you (it's real ;)). 

Family.Not many will say that they have traveled to Africa in their lifetime. However my family both Matt and Phil and all my relatives have been so supportive throughout this whole process.Both sides of my family have been amazing and that is not a fair enough statement. I do not think I took into account the importance of family as much as I do now prior to leaving. Family is such a crucial part of life. It is within family that you find your greatest strength, your greatest encouragement, and most importantly love. Throughout this whole process I have felt so loved. By all people in my life. Thank you to all family members who encourage me to present my findings, share my stories and photos, and who have been so overwhelming proud of what I have done. While I do not need people to be proud of me, it motivates me to keep doing something positive. While being gone my brother proposed to his girlfriend, Sam, and that in itself is something so special. I am so thankful both of my brothers have found someone who will continue to encourage, support,and love them in their life goals and families. Family will continue to grow and flourish in love and with that comes greatness in this great world. Thank you family for doing that to me, for expanding my heart in love and passion for what I believe in and for backing me up in every step of my life. 

Friends. Whether you are part of my co-hort, friends from high school, friends from college, friends from family, or strangers awaiting to become friends. I thank you.You have given me words of encouragement and praise and have moved me to want to do great things not only while abroad but upon my return.Your words prior to departure reassured me what I was doing was meant to be and while over there I felt so blessed and praised upon my departure and return. A special shout out goes to Brittany for being such a motivator and encourager and one who has allowed me to take my time processing it all and filtering through it all, you are amazing and that is an understatement. And while I categorize all that have supported me under the category of 'friends' please know that each one of you is considered as family and are not truly getting the recognition you truly and wholeheartedly deserve.I am beyond words in thanking all of you for the financial, kinds words, prayers, sweet messages and posts while on this journey! Without you I would not be the person I am today and for that I am forever grateful for whatever path lead me or you into my life.  So THANK YOU for all that you have done and continue to do friends. You are all so truly special!

Jen aka 'Fish'. It is still so silly to me how a trip and a passion for a career brought us to Dakar and to share a bed together for three weeks. It makes me giggle writing this because you and I didn't really know each other but we still chose our seats next to each other and roomed together on a limb. Little did I know that the limb we went out on would form such a bond and friendship. I honestly do not think you will ever truly know how much you mean to me and how much you have done for me. I thank you from the bottom of my heart for sitting with me through the tears, venting, laughing, crying, shouting, all of it with me for three weeks. I tried to explain to someone about you and  my trip and in all honesty you are the one who got me through it. I am forever grateful for the experience that you and I and the rest of us went on, but you get me in a way not many do and you got me in just a few short days. I have a hard time putting it all in to words, but you are truly a top notch person and will forever hold a special spot in my heart. I will never forget one of our last nights in Dakar and me ironing our clothes and absolutely losing it while talking to you, thank you for the words that you spoke but mainly for all the unspoken things. You allowed me to feel emotions that I never knew existed without feeling judged and accepted me for the vulnerable girl that I was through this whole experience. You held my hand through it all and made me giggle, laugh things off, cry things off, and just go "only in Africa." You didn't have to say a words and you didn't need to give me a hug, I knew you got where I was coming from and you let me talk and cry it out. That night was raw that night was real, and that night will mean so  much to me for the rest of my life. That night I found a friend, I saw what it was like to accepted, loved, and understood. I wish there were better words to form exactly what I am thinking and feeling but this will have to suffice. Just know that I am beyond words thankful for all that you have done, continue to do without knowing, and all that you are. This probably sounds like some love letter to you, but I think we both plus all who traveled with us will understand that it probably is some form of love and that no one should question us, ha ha ha (only you will probably understand this part lol). And yes I am balling writing this, with laughter through the tears because I am crying because of what is in my heart not able to express on my blog but laughing because I can hear you asking me "KATIE WHY ARE YOU CRYING."  You are my fish to my chips. Thank you, thank you, thank you!!

A fire has been lit for me to continue to following my dreams and heart. And that is something that is so truly remarkable. Through the heartache, the laughter, through it all I have been so unbelievable blessed with kind souls and hearts who have made this all possible. Through all the prayers and so much more I have been able to experience an amazing and life changing experience that will forever impact and change and shape my life. And for that no words truly will express how thankful, grateful, and appreciative I am for what everyone has done.

So many doors have opened up and so many opportunities have come about and I can only be humbled and grateful for all that has come from me traveling abroad. With that, I would once again like to extend my deepest and most heartfelt gratitude for all of you who have supported, loved, prayed, and kept me reaching for more. You have been such an inspiration and motivation for me. And I hope to continue to share my life journey with you all. 

Finally writing this all out has shown me and opened a new door for me to finally accept that I am changed. My heart. My mind. My soul are forever molded and changed. And that is such a beautiful thing, it really truly is.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

BLESSED!

Timing

If there is one thing that has been ever present since my return home it would be timing. From the get go of ever deciding to travel to Dakar timing played a crucial role in my decisions.

A week or so ago a babies time to enter this world was due, however it wasn't the right timing for that little man to make his debut and now a week later as I sit and ramble in a new post, that little man is making his timing count by making us wait patiently as he makes his world appearance. And with his delay came time for me to escape from Kalamazoo and visit with Bradley, which I missed greatly. I can't put my finger on one specific moment that made the time with Brad so great, but if there is one thing I can take away from my trip it would be quality time, and that is what the past five days have been quality time spent with a quality guy. And within that time away from the hustle and bustle of being back in Kalamazoo I found quiet moments in which I was able to sit down, reflect, and put my memories into words that is due to the University tomorrow [its already turned in].

July fourth brought about many family traditions that are easy to take for granted however the simplicity and time well spent with family is top notch. The day was a hot one however it was with my family so it didn't matter. It was finally time for me to face the music and to share my pictures and stories from my journey. I did it, yes, but it was hard. I showed pictures with smiles and stories to follow but I relived it all. And while I relived it I was reminded that I wasn't in Dakar I was in Ludington and that my belly was full, my heart felt loved and I was surrounded by family. It was fulfilling, but also a sting overtook me because I was finally forced to share my sacred memories and feelings and to showcase those little faces that stole my heart forever. I held back the tears I swollowed that lump you get when the flood gates are about to break, and I showcased with pride my trip. I was happy, I was sad, I was a hundred other things that don't have adjectives to describe it. But I did it, and I will continue to do it because it is what I am supposed to do.  Thank you family for embracing it all.

In a week and a half time or so I have been able to look through pictures, watch the videos, relive those moments that brought me such happiness and am continually encouraged to keep finding the motivation and encouragement from others to continue to do good from a far over there. And while I am very content and happy being surrounded by family and friends back in my safe bubble, I still struggle daily with the reality outside of here. The pictures and videos and story sharing with others is amazing and so wonderful for me to do, however it tears at my heartstrings every time I am asked about it. I want to share I really do and that is the honest truth but I just don't know how. It's coming though, day by day, and I am even more motivated by my developed photos and others movements, words, and photos of traveling and being able to share my special trip with friends and family.

Time has also led me to the episode of Gene Simmons:Family Jewel episode 2 of his travels to Zambia. I cried watching it yet through the tears came a smile and an overwhelming feeling of happiness and gratitude for my trip to Dakar and those feelings that are forever engrained in me. I clapped in delight and gazed in awe and was so thankful that my dad informed me of the episode I feel like  motivation  that will lead me to other trips and other movements toward success!

Perhaps time will lead me to Zambia where I will be immersed in those beautiful schools where I can once again here those beats strum through the dance moves, and the native tongue fill my ears with an unknown message, but a language all their own.I truly miss those aspects from being back home.

And while I do not know where time may take me I do know that adjusting and processing takes time, patience, gratitude, storytelling, crying, laughter, and acceptance of it all.

That's the beauty of it, time is in place to make us go places, allows us to arrive on time, lets us know where we're delayed. And in each life moment God has created these moments of time that will forever change us.These moments of time also make us slow down to appreciate, accept, and be moved to greatness.

All in all, Time will tell.