Three Little Boys

Tomorrow concludes by three almost four years with a family I have grown to call my own, and with that a tribute is formed.

We call Tuesday my 'Faux- last day' because we all know that I will really never have a last day with my favorite little critters. But regardless tomorrow will bring an eerie feeling of what a new reality and move will bring. I have called the household that holds my three sweet little souls my second home for most of my college career and regardless of any college memory I will look back on my littles and be so beyond thankful for the opportunity, the experience, and the love felt within those walls. 

Starting the job I met Bo all little and cute and a petite mom with a pop of baby in her tummy which would mean I would fall hard for little monkey Asch-man. And not short after, and after not thinking my heart had more love to love on another baby boy, another little would come, and Preston made three!

The title of being a nanny seemed odd to some and was quite confused by others on what it really meant, and while I sometimes thought it was a silly title I believed that I truly did make a decent nanny. While starting the job loving children and wanting to continue to work with kiddos, and make some money while doing it was my main priority, I happily accepted the job. What I received was so much more than I ever anticipated, and what I recieved from a family other than my own,I never could have imagined.

I fell hard and I have put so much of myself into those kids lives these past several years that despite any course work or school load I always had the best intentions and always came bright eyed and bushy tailed to love and make those boys feel proud of the little men they are becoming. Its hard for me, actually very hard for me, to put into words the work that I have done throughout the years. It has been challenging, rewarding, loving, caring, kind, frustrating, funny, teaching, adorable, messy, crazy, loud,  yet despite any situation I was faced with I always came out with a smile and I always, always felt love.

It always amazed me while taking care of the boys, espically the babies, how much they depend on someone to love and be there to care for them and how helpless and depenedent babies actually are. But those boys loved me and they relied on me through everything and they still do. I have watched on numerous accounts them interact with their parents and need from them what every child needs from their parents. And while my heart has melted watching those interactions, I watched as three boys began to rely and need some of the same, yet very different things from me. I was the one who will laugh when they are naughty (on occasion) or do something they shouldn't be, I will be the one to say 'no thanks' when they're attempting to do something they KNOW is wrong... I'm the one who gets creative, dances around the house, asks for hugs with cars in my hands, bakes goodies that are no good for anyone, takes on challenges because I know the outcome will be one not to miss. I became creative I started to see a side of myself that at twenty-two I never thought I would be in the position to see -- I saw myself becoming maternal, protective, and constantly wanting to put the kiddos best interest far beyond my own. I was living in years of college where I started to lose sight of who I was and what I wanted -- however each day I spent with those boys they reminded exactly why I was at Western and most importantly why I am going into what I am going into. 

Bo-Bo the sweet, little, innoccent biggest brother. I will NEVER forget my first day on the job shadowing the other girl who was leaving. Let's put it this way a virus that infected his intestines. Enough said, my first day was messy and smelly. That day I learned how vulnerable littles were and how much these kiddos needed support and love throughout their days. Bo had the personality that anyone would love, he was active, loving, and a little snuggle bug.  As he has grown into the little man he is today he in a gentle-hearted, loving, demanding, yet he shows so much intelligence and curiosity for the world around him. I could write a novel over the conversations we have had at bed time or the quiet times we have shared during nap times. The kid is  genious and I LOVE that he keeps me on my toes. Bo will always be a solid reminder of why I chose early childhood education to call my future profession. He teaches me each and every day more and more about the world. And keeps me wanting to make myself a better educator and person.

Asch Monkey stole my heart the minute he made his debut into this world. Still one of the most beautiful babies I have ever seen, Ascher captured my heart.  I will always love how free spirited, rebellious and determined that little man is. I love his snuggle nature, and his hard headed, stubbornness too. I love his out of the corner eye look and his own little language that I actually understand and get. Asch has taught me so much, the words I can't get down today, but my heart feels it. What I can say is I always made sure I told him I was proud of him. He's a determined little man and has so much love to give. I also admire the way he looks up to Bo and how their relationship as brothers has grown over the past several months. It is beautiful.

And then there is sweet baby Preston. Or as Bo referred to him before he came to be himself 'Baby Watermelon.'  I will never forget the day that I found out that Preston would be arriving in about six months, it was bath time and I was trying to multi-task and fold laundry while supervising the kiddos in the bathtub. As I was folding I came across a maternity and almost simultaneously Bo informed me that "mommy has a baby in her belly" that night revealed that Preston would arrive in June. Little did I know that five days after returning from Africa that Preston would make his debut and captivate my heart and become my little buddy. Presto is hard to put into words, he's more of a feeling, the world is a happier place because he is in it and he isn't even a year old. He has shown me that there is good in every day, you can wake up with a smile on your face, and is a true example of a beautiful, funny, little character, happy baby boy. He has shown me the heart has SO much room for love, actually all three boys have shown me the capacity for love is endless.

Each day I walked thru their door I was reminded that the day was young, new and had any potential you wanted to make it. That is a gift so few feel, but so many need.I have felt something I have thought I would as a college-aged student. I am so honored, so blessed with who the family has accepted me to be. I am so thankful for the tears that I have shed on their couch with guidance throughout it all. I have been spoiled, loved, cherished, and I have felt appreciated for the time, dedication,and love I have put into my job as a nanny. 

As I have always told them  "You is kind, you is smart, you is important" and as always  "I am proud of you." I am proud of every moment that had made each one of my favorite little boys who they are, so unique, so individual so them. So perfectly them. The moments I have shared throughout the years I will always keep in a special place in my heart, they will NEVER be replaced, but they will move on with me as I carry on. 

Tonight as I pack I am thankful for my three favorite little boys. Thankful. Blessed. Loved. 

When Life Hands you Lemons

Oh my long lost blog, how I've missed writing! 

However, it does make me so happy to see that my last post was my favorite love story captured in our engagement! And speaking of which we are happily in love, and busy planning and enjoying engagement bliss!

On top of all of the love I also finished up my course work for my program --- Halleluiah! Now all I have left is student teaching for a year! YIPPEE!! I also spent a week and a half in Florida with three little boys I love (make that four once Brad arrived!) --- that whole adventure deserves a post but for now a picture will do ( to come later)! I'm in love hard with those kiddos -- very blessed and thankful for the job.



Yes there is more details to sprinkle between the headlines of my life but for now I will relish in my latest life adventure. 

I am moving! 

After interview, after interview, etc. I finally was offered a job and i accepted! I will be moving to Brad's neck of the woods next week and starting my job the day after Memorial Day. With three beautiful little girls! I am so lucky and the job just fell into my hands! 

I have been searching for a new yoga studio, I have been googling farmers markets, and I have been packing up the past four years, two in this apartment to start a new adventure. It will be a change but a good one, that will allow for more growth, more time to spend planning that wedding!!

I am in a happy transition time right now one filled with love, chaos, and anxiety over how all will go! Cheers to new adventures! Happy Saturday! I'll be back with more details soon!

February 23, 2013 {Engaged}

I hope I can capture this day in a post like the day turned out in person. My weekend was just a typical trip home to spend time with Brittany since my last visit home I wasn't able to see her. It was also time to spend some quality time with my parents, my spring break was next week and I wasn't going to be able to make it home due to watching the boys and some school work. The previous week Brad had mentioned he was going home too but that to me meant I would probably see him once... little did I know.

Friday night as I was just getting into Holland Brad called after work to tell me he got hired in and off of contract at his company such exciting news!!!! On my way to Brittanys that night I stopped there to congratulate him and he said he wanted to take me on a date Saturday. I thought it was a little odd, but I would see what I could do.

Off to Brittanys I went. Sleepover time! That evening Britt was trying to get me to do my nails I didn't feel like fussing with the nail polish remover and having to pick out a new color, blah blah blah. Then the following morning she encouraged me to shower and get around first thing. Which I did once I got home but didn't want to fuss with that yet again. I met my parents at JP's for coffee and there my mom gave me hand lotion --- I had terribly dry hands so once again I didn't think anything of what my mom was doing or Britt. Little did I know.

I went shopping with my parents then we headed home I really wanted to go see puppy's at a shelter and then go wine tasting my dad initially said yes then after a quick trip to my neighbors he backed out. My mom offered to play board games all afternoon. Brad earlier had sent me a text with what time he was going to pick me up ---- I felt guilty leaving my parents so we decided to meet them for dinner after our two hour date. Little did I know...

So we left. All the way down Quincy I was guessing what we were going to do. Since he asked me to dress warm I figured we were going ice skating and I was determined that is what we were doing, there was no way he could trick me. Well no sooner had be told me no to ice skating were two lights flashing behind us... one red, one blue. Ticket. Speeding. Oops, in hindsight I'm sure he was nervous and he was on a time crunch. He wanted to get out of the car and talk to him but I thought he was crazy and that it was highly illegal!! On we went.

Brad started out our date by parking near the museum I got all excited and thought we were going to the museum. But he started by letting me know that I should not be expecting anything and that all he wanted to do was something special since I am always surprising him and doing nice things for him. With the conversation we had the weekend before [details.] I knew not to expect anything until the end of the year or until next year so I really truly did believe him. He then handed me what would be my first clue to the scavenger hunt. As you can see in the following pictures I really did not have any clue what would happen at the end and yes I was 110% surprised!

Our engagement story is best told with pictures... Enjoy!

First stop: Lemonjello's

Next stop: Skiles

Followed by: 84 East

Our Bar

New Holland Brewery

Starting to get suspicious: Curragh

JP's Coffee Shop

Subs & More

Seasoned Home

Outpost

Model Drug Apothecary

The whole time I was asking questions as to how he got all of these messages. I was also very curious to know if my parents knew what our surprise was. Question answered at 8th Street Grille

Time to grab some ice cream, we split one cause it was so cold. Coldstone

My last note given to me by the Cold Stone employee --- off for my walk alone!

At this point I was at Cold Stone and Brad told me he had to go to the bathroom and for me to find a seat. No sooner was I sitting down taking a bite of our ice cream was the girl who worked there walking towards me with the letter above. I was off to Centennial Park -- I was determined to beat him there cause there was no way he could've snuck out the back and me not cross path with me. Little did I know he was picked up by our secret photographers! Off I walked...

Once I got there I took my sweet time walking towards him I even snapped a couple pictures on my phone of him I was curious how he got the flowers so quick but didn't cross my mind what was about to happen. Once I reached the fountain he explained that the letters were a reminder of how loved and proud people think I am and that along the way I often times forget. I thought it was so sweet and that was all I thought was happening ---- boy was I wrong!

How the heck did he run there and get flowers, I was impressed!

Thanking him for the surprise!!

At this point and I kid you not bells were ringing and there was a nice snow falling silently around us.

Shocked, shaking, but SO excited!

No, I did not fall over I was putting the ice cream down, we never even ate it!

On it goes --- me asking if he asked my dad lol

I like this one :)

Checking out the bling!

The day was magical, beautiful, surprising, and so full of love! I want to box it all up and keep it forever. I'm hoping one day I will look back on this post and smile remembering it all. Brad has always been some sort of a romantic but he topped it with this proposal. I am forever grateful for the pictures captured along the way they will make for beautiful stories in the future. I am beyond excited and beyond happy!!

More love to come later! Until then I'm going to enjoy being engaged!

Thank you to everyone who made the trip, took part and congratulated us on our engagement!! We cannot wait to celebrate!

Falling in love....

..... with a career.

Wh at a day to write about love right?! While I'm busy between baking banana muffins, laundry, lesson planning, and cleaning after a longs week work.

I refer to Valentines day as "Happy Heart Day" or "Happy Love Day" because I think people have such a negative attitude about Valentines Day, and to be honest I do not need a day to tell those I love that I love them. However I do think that we can recognize this day full of love

 But as I'm getting to work in a classroom I have found that I am growing fond of this little love day. I was able to make my first valentines day cards for my students and I tried getting creative. Once I got to class this morning one of my students didn't bring a box I stepped in as 'mom' and whipped up a box. Put his name on some valentines and we called it a party!

I am in love with special education preschool. My heart is happy here!

Here are my reasons why in a nutshell!

Milestones
Nothing is better than seeing a student become potty trained or able to identify numbers, letters, or colors. I have been working with two of my students and have been tracking their progress. I am in awe and am so proud of how far they have come with their knowledge. For such little minds they sure hold a lot of knowledge. Not to mention they are adorable.
Little Friends &Giggles
"Grab a friend and let's head back to class" is the most precious sight. The kids in my class may be labeled with different disabilities but they do not see race, ability, male from female or disability. And it is truly so beautiful.
Pink Eye & Endless Colds 
I forgot how many germs littles carry. Well my body sure feels the effects of that. I have never had so many colds, but its worth it (kind of). Pink eye on the other hand. Holy moly! Seven out of Twelve kiddos have pink eye. Actually maybe more. Let's just say as precaution I have the drops and have been using them daily.
Honesty
This is huge to me right now. People need to be honest and trustworthy. My students will tell you if they hit 'Johnny' or is they take his toy. I love it. It's fresh, pure and my kiddos learn from it.
Smiles
Regardless of how tired I am I always greet the buses and get everyone off the buses in the morning. With the cold weather that job gets tricky. The minute those two feet step off the bus and the smiles race towards me the day is going to be a good one! I wish I could bottle the energy and smiles of my students and sell it. More people need it!
Support
I work with the most amazing teacher and para pro. They accepted me into their classroom from day one.  I am in awe of the work that my mentor teacher does. She has organized chaos and I am loving it. We collaborate on things, I bounce ideas off of her and offer my suggestions to her based off observations. And most importantly I am learning a lot and being able to put what I learn in my course work to use!
Inspiration
Each and every day I am inspired to do better, to improve on my practice and to give my students the very best they deserve. I am growing as a person, educator, and more importantly my heart is growing in love too!


The way I see it is that these kids have the future at their finger tips. While others like my preschoolers live like there is never going to be a tomorrow. What a way to live right?! My preschoolers show me each and every day how to love. How to love learning. How to love others. How to love sharing. How they love laughing, singing, and chatting about just about anything. They love drawing, creating and solving lifes mysteries found in puzzle pieces.

I find it so rewarding already how much of an impact you can have on such young kiddos. If you start them off with the right role models and sets of foundations they have

Middle School on the other hand is a completely different story... But they too offer their own story. They will write their way into my book one day. But for now I will relish in the little faces and happy faces I find each day I walk to greet the buses.

Love somebody today, but more importantly find love in something you do day in and day out.

Happy love day! I hope you have a happy heart!

Little Things

The smell of fresh baked blueberry muffins zips through the house and a little four year old is curled up next to me relaxing his bum leg and two littles sleeping upstairs. Bo and I cleaned his house today we moved toys out of the way, we vacuumed and rearranged and moved everything back. We dusted the dust off of the shelves that hold all of their toys and polished the pictures hung on the wall. We swept the floor covered with crumbs enjoyed around a scuffed up with memories around the family table. A baby stirs. Cartoons play muted out in the background. Cars zoom down a traffic ridden race track. All is calm.

Guess it's the teacher in me making play time educational --- story time focused on Dinosaurs!

Added a great aroma on the 'ice day'

This past weekend I experienced more calmness. Since I started up this semester I either teach or go to school five days a week (something I haven't done since my freshmen year!). Talk about a busy week and by the time the weekend rolls around I'm exhausted! However most of my weekends this month have been filled with overnights with the littles or dinner date nanny time. Don't get me wrong I love seeing the boys but every now and again a weekend off is much appreciated. Last weekend I slipped away to Farmington (first weekend off all semester!!!) and spent some quiet, sans preschoolers, middle schoolers, or toddlers! Oh, and homework --- snow days sure have a way of keeping you ahead of the game! We watched a lot of movies and made yummy food, covered fruit in chocolate to make the healthy taste even better hehe! And we of course splurged on our favorite take out and shared a bottle of bubbly! The X-games were on this weekend and we awed in admiration of talent those athletes have in the snow and as the events carried on my eye lids grew heavy and it lulled me to sleep.

Believe it or not I have not had a latte in three weeks until this one was purchased not by me, but Bradley!!

Spur of the moment delay led to adventures around Ann Arbor --- cannot wait for my next trip to enjoy some dinner and exploring AA.

Bubbly and Pitch Perfect --- talk about Perfect!

Homemade chicken and mushroom dish followed by yummy chocolate covered fruit -- everyone needs to splurge!

There is a change of pace when I got to Farmington I'm sure it is the company I share in and the quietness that covers the city, Brad's apartment building is occupied by a mix of couples, singles, elders, and small families so the atmosphere is soothing and calming. Over the course of the weekend I slept for 20 hours with a two hour nap in there. Talk about being rejuvenated and relaxed! As the weekend came to a close I packed my things and we headed for Ann Arbor where I took the train back to Kalamazoo! My intentions were good I carpooled to Farmington with Jen and was going to take the train back --- not using my gas and using other modes of transportation. Well with the combination of weather and delayed trains I got back to Kalamazoo three hours after I was supposed to. Can't say I won't do it again, but man oh mister was that frustrating!  I am definitely looking forward to working this weekend away again and then heading home to Holland for another escape of a fast paced world and of course to see my family!

I have been overwhelmed at times, filled with love, filled with laughter, filled with tears, filled with frustration, filled with worry, filled with gratitude, and filled with exhaustion. But I have also been filled with the feeling that I am right where I need to be and that with each one of those feelings I am being changed, molded and moved to become a better person. I am continuing to work on myself, like I mentioned in a earlier post, and with doing so I have been loving the little things!! Happy Wednesday all!

This semester I have been dedicating more time to working out -- this means early morning wake ups in order to make time for it. I have been enjoying the quiet mornings and the routines I have been working on establishing. This morning called for pancakes!

Martin Luther King Jr. Day meant a day off for us three rented movies, Chinese and a glass or two of wine we called it a great day!

Having a passion.

Over break I was ordered to go to my favorite nail place in Holland and to make an appointment with Jasmine, what awaited me was a gift certificate for a pedicure and a conversation with the woman I didn't know next to me. As I was catching up on celebrity gossip and soaking my feet the woman next to me commented on something on the news. I looked up agreed that it was horrible, and went back to reading my magazine.

The conversation continued and I listened, it went a little something like this:

L: Are you in school?
Me: Yes I am as Western Michigan University
L: What are you studying?
Me: Special Education
L: Oh one time... the conversation progressed into her going into subbing at the ISD to get more experience with that population of people/kids. Which I thought was a very insightful way to become more educated.... The conversation continued into how some of the children were very violent and could execute some of the same crimes that were committed by the 'Sandy Hook' dude could be done by some of the students at the ISD --- my wheels started to churn. She also spoke about the students she worked with that were on feeding tubes and other needs were individuals that just needed to be with God again. Blood boiling. She then got into the 'Sandy Hook' incident and gun control, and mental health. She then got talking about how the 'Downs' and 'Autistic' kids were this and that..... Talk about nails on a chalk board for me. She then proceed to get up and go to the other room.
Me: The only response I had to whole thing, or the only thing I could get in edge wise, is that the students that she feels that are threatening are more than likely frustrated and that regardless of their life circumstance every child has abilities that out due their disabilities. 


I like these conversations they make me think, they make me upset, but they make me realize that I need to voice the truth and educate others around me. It is also a reminder that I have a passion for a group of individuals that is undeniably apparent.

This conversation also sparked a conversation at dinner with my parent. My parents both had good points on how naive people can be when they are not surrounded by facts, and the truths behind what I am going into. More specifically we talked about the use of the 'r-word' and for those of you who are reading and becoming more aware of unaccpetable terminology in the field of special education and to those families and indivduals with disabilities the 'r-word' having the r + etard is not acceptable however many people use it to describe a bad day, etc. However to families it is hurtful and more importantly to individuals that are diagnosed with something it is offensive. The conversation escalated into how others around us don't always know the right way to address things and often times don't understand how others are affected. Unless there is a passion for this population. I have that passion.

Another topic my parents and I got on was person first language. This is rather new in the field and the terminology used but it is putting the person before the disability. They have an identity outside of their disability. Keep it in mind. For example she was diagnosed with Down Syndrome not they have 'downs.'

Yup I stepped up on my soap box but sometimes we all have to. I just strongly encourage people to be conscious of the language they are using in terms of people. For that matter terms they are using in public and with people they may not know, it is also important to watch out for those around you.

My dad had a good quote during our conversation, I wish I remembered it but regardless it was a good one and he should pretty much write down all his witty quotes, but it went back to me having a passion. I do, and I hope all of you do too.

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Life Update: Final Semester Begins

Side-note: As this year gets under way I am marking the final semester at Western and am wrapping up all my course work and all the work I have left to do with Honors College. With that being said I am taking 19 credit hours and so far am LOVING it despite the work that it will entail. As I was on Facebook the other day I like how my friend Adriene put my work load: "It's a different kind of busy though." That it is I get to start my day with 10 beautiful preschoolers. I would be lying if I said I didn't tear up when they all trucked into the hall my first day with their winter coats on and their little faces starred at me. It took me back to the last time I was in a preschool class and yes, yes it was when I was in Dakar. My heart fluttered and yet again I felt like I was right where I had to be. I LOVE it. I can get used to singing songs, practicing names and letters, opening snacks and milk, tying shoes, planning crafts for the month, having my hair 'cut' while playing house, and zooming cars through the car village. And I love to hear all the stories about my students and how far they have come with their development and milestones. Makes my heart sing!

I also have very exciting news to announce! One of my classes I have is an independent study with Sarah who was my professor while I was in Dakar. I will be presenting at a conference in March for the Council for Exception Children in Grand Rapids. There will be more information coming soon! Until then I continue to grow in my field and soak into my last semester of course work at Western!

As for life I am trying to make changes and to better myself and relationships. I am falling into a routine of school, working out and relaxing. Not to mention getting to bed early, real early!! I am happy, things are falling into place and I keep praying that God continues to provide in areas that need work.

a new year

I cannot believe that a new year is here however I am still in awe over the past year of my life. I started 2012 ringing it in twice due to the time change experience in Chicago. I accomplished two of my goals for the year: I ran my first 10k and I went to Africa. I guess you could say I volunteered more through the organization Volunteer Kalamazoo.

This year has been amazing.

I am able to say that I spent three beautiful weeks half way around the world inside an amazing culture, surrounded with love, God, and some of my best friends. I touched the hands of so many beautiful souls who have stolen my heart forever. I am so thankful for the journey that took me to Dakar and for all the love and support from my family and friends.

Our family grew this April by one family member and it will again grow in October of 2013 as Phil and Sam get married. The wedding of Matt and Betsy was one for the books, however creating a larger family is something we welcome with open arms, it is an exciting experience and brings us closer as a family.

I was able to check off my number one bucket list item this summer by going to see Jason Mraz in concert. It was amazing and something I would not mind doing again! I spent the 4th of July weekend with family like usual and extended it to a camping adventure with friends in Ludington. I volunteered at Camp Sunshine again, however I watched in the crowd this year at the talent show instead of participating. I went hunting for the first time, I shot at a deer however I missed. Christmas held different traditions but the same meaning and time with family like always.

Our nation struggled with some heartache this year we had several devastating hurricanes and numerous shootings. However, out of each one of these incidents we honor amazing individuals who step up to the plate and become heroes.

I am still in awe in all that I have been blessed with this year and how many lessons I have learned along the way. I am continually growing and learning and have been so lucky to surround myself with beautiful people this past year. I have learned to put aside some of the drama in my life and to continue to focus on what means the most and to stay surrounded by people will help build me up and support me. 

I have always been a fan of the number 13 and what better year than 2013 to have big things happen. I will wrap up my course work in my program and will be one step closer to graduation. I will begin student teaching and become one step closer to fulfilling my college career dreams. I am so hopeful for what this year is going to bring to my life and I welcoming 2013 with open arms. 

Blessings to you all & wishing you all the best year possible!

Giving Thanks [part three & four]

---- Day Thirteen {November 13}: I give thanks to 'A' Elementary. I cannot wait to start teaching preschool there in January. I was able to tour the school and meet my mentor teacher. I am in love already and have a new excitement about going into the education field again.

---- Day Fourteen {November 14}: I give thanks to baby snuggles. Babies have a way of trusting people that are not their parents. Ever since getting the job to nanny the boys I have been overwhelmed by how easy babies can connect with their caregivers. I have always been so amazed with how Preston and Ascher have both been so receptive to me when I am watching them. It melts my heart every Wednesday and I am so thankful for working with such a great family.

---- Day Fifteen {November 15}: I give thanks to teaching evaluations. Although this seems like something silly to be thankful for, I am. Today I had THREE evaluations now that's alot.

---- Day Sixteen {November 16}: I give thanks to time away and a train to take it all in on. I sit on a train today taking it from Michigan city to Chicago where I will spend a weekend celebrating six years. What an adventure it has been, and what an adventure the weekend holds!

---- Day Seventeen {November 17}: I give thanks to nature. It was a beautiful day and it was spent with my best friend and in the zoo. The sun was shining the animals were all out and lively. It was a beautiful day spent in and gorgeous place.

---- Day Eighteen {November 18}: I give thanks to rest. To movies, to blankets, to sleep, to just taking it all in and relaxing. It's something I forget to do so often but something we all need.

---- Day Nineteen {November 19}: I give thanks to love. I love being able to be loved, love others, love things, love objects, just love. It's a universal language and feeling and that is so amazing. Today I feel loved and am excited to mark another year off. 

---- Day Twenty {November 20}: I give thanks to six years with the same guy, Brad.They have been fun, funny, kind, loving, hard, up, down. I look forward to where life takes us and for what is ahead.

---- Day Twenty-One {November 21}: I give thanks to old friends and new friends. It's fun to see how some friends change and grow and how others do not. How we can come together and set so much aside and how some things will never change. I like my new friends as a measure of who I am and how as you grow older you begin to surround yourself with different types of people. And guess what, that is okay.

---- Day Twenty-Two {November 22}: I give thanks to my family. As we all gather around the table at my grandmas we all can hopefully take time to reflect back on the past year and find something that we are grateful for. I enjoy the laughter, the food, the company, and the time to just immerse myself in family time.

---- Day Twenty-Three {November 23}: I give thanks to quality time. It doesn't have to be spent doing anything out of the ordinarnary but when cards are involved and people you love, it all makes for one great day.

---- Day Twenty- Four {November 24}: I give thanks to flashbacks. I watched a movie tonight that so vividly brought me back to a place. I sobbed, smiled, and overall enjoyed the movie. I encourage every one to stay tuned as I begin to wrap my head around it more. I will post on it soon along with many other things that have spiraled since watching it. My brain is spinning.

---- Day Twenty- Five {November 25}: I give thanks to memories. More specifically childhood memories that captivate the delicate places that so many take for granted. Today I am reminded of raw and unfamiliar feelings of losing someone six years ago. I think of her family often, and her spirit and fire never cease to leave me. 


I hope as the weekend comes to an end and a new week begins that we have all reflected back and let others know why we are thankful for them. Happy new week friends. It is officially the holiday season!

Giving Thanks [part two]

Feeling very lucky. Looking forward to what this week has to offer, and to escape this upcoming weekend.


---- Day Six {November 6}: I give thanks to having a voice and being able to have some sort of say in a democracy that is not guaranteed to so many worldwide. It doesn't make everyone happy, but I think it is amazing to see how for one day, maybe even a week the nation comes together. Some celebrate, some are disappointed, but regardless they all take part in something that many people take for granted.

---- Day Seven {November 7}: I give thanks to a 14 hour work day. While the hours for one day may seem like a lot it didn't seem like I was there nearly that long. I am so very thankful for having a job that I enjoy, that brings me a peace of mind, and a great escape from the city outside that's waiting to eat me up.


---- Day Eight {November 8}:I give thanks to a quiet night in Holland with movies. It seems like ages since I have rented movies and snuggle up in my basement with a blanket and my rented movies. I was surrounded by my parents, and was able to visit with neighbors earlier in the evening. Sometimes it is the familiarity of what you know so well that gets lost in the hustle of every day life that it is nice to be able to come home and become grounded.

---- Day Nine {November 9}: I give thanks to a fun, yet laid back evening out with great ladies. Tonight was spent tasting different wines followed by a nice appetizer dinner in a candle lit restaurant. It was relaxing, but it was accompanied with great company. Women who are strong, passionate, and easy to talk with. It was truly a great evening out.

---- Day Ten {November 10}: I give thanks to gatherings. Tonight we all got together at my brother and future sister in laws house for a nice appetizer and wine party. Many good laughs shared. But my favorite part of it all was my whole family being together under one roof, at the same time.

---- Day Eleven {November 11}: I give thanks to all the men and women who serve our country and are continuing to enlist every day. Those who have given up their lives to protect ours, and who are not afraid of what their duty holds. A job that often goes unnoticed or un-appreciated. Thank you to all that step up to give us our freedoms every day.

---- Day Twelve {November 12}: I give thanks to silence. Something I learned months ago on a cliff in Dakar, but I sometimes lose sight of what silence can do for you. I sat and worked my heart out on all the work I have to get accomplished for this week at a coffee shop. I sat with music quietly playing. I then followed my evening making a dinner, eating it alone, and now adding the finishing touches on this post, in silence. Silence is seen as intimidating, for me it is cleansing, and there is not a soul that is intruding. I feel close to Him, safe, protected, loved, and not judged. That is beautiful. And it gets a lot of my work accomplished and brings me peace while doing it. 

Happy Monday Friends. Thanks for reading.

Giving Thanks [part one]

November means so many things to me: one is that fact that the semester is almost over, there is Thanksgiving break, Brad and I celebrate another year together, but most importantly it means that the holiday season is right around the corner and with that comes lots of yummy food, time off, and most importantly time with family.

Holidays mean so much more now that I am older. I used to see it like any young child did a day to play in the snow and have Santa come, etc. Now it means coming together and seeing and sharing time with people that I am not able to see often. It really is a happy time of the year. It is also time to give back to take time for yourself and just to truly embrace the new season.

This November many people have been doing something that they are thankful for every day. I prefer to use my blog to do it and to do it weekly.  I'm thinking I will do it in clusters of five days --- six posts of 'Giving thanks.' 

Here's number one.


---- Day One {November 1}: I give thanks to my friend Jen. She is an amazing person inside and out. Has a heart of gold and would really do anything for anyone. She deserves more of thanks but I woke up today thinking of her and so today I am thankful for Jen aka Fish.

---- Day Two {November 2}: I give thanks to places to escape Kalamazoo [Farmington & Holland]. We all need an outlet and today I realized I needed out of Kalamazoo before I exploded. My weekends this month have me somewhere else every weekend. Surrounded by those who support me and are not associated with Kalamazoo and my coursework. While the work that needs to be done prior to the weekends is time consuming, it is all worth it once Friday comes.

---- Day Three {November 3}: I give thanks to hobbies more importantly biking. Biking through the trails on the east side of the state are not easy, they are trying, they frustrate me, but it is good for me. I need to get out in the fresh air, enjoy what mother nature has to offer. And put some more quality mileage on my bike!

---- Day Four {November 4}: I give thanks to the ability to have a roof over my head, and the heat to warm my house, and the food to feed my belly. Watching the news lately is a ever present reminded that those affected by Sandy have had their lives shaken and broken and have lost so much. While I can sit on my couch at night working on what needs to be done and aid as support for my friends I realize 

---- Day Five {November 5}: I give thanks to my running shoes. Today I turn a new leaf, I get back on the track and I begin to work out more and run. Its a new goal to get certified to instruct classes. And I realize every day that I need some sort of outlet. My outlet has always been running and I am saddened I have let myself get so busy to not enjoy a good solid run. I still have my own personal running goals and May will approach much sooner than expected and I will be running the Fifth Third again. My doctor has even adviced me to find a way to de-stress. Running is the key. Hitting the pavement after class tonight!


I am feeling very grateful for where life has taken me this semester, it has been so challenging however I know that I need this growth. I find it to be so good for me to reflect on what I am thankful for and as the month goes on I will get more in depth I'm sure. Until then there are five days of thankfulness. Five more to come soon! Happy Monday!

Happy Birthday Blog!

My blog is one year old!

How exciting is that --- it also marks one year since I announced my exciting news!I could never have imagined where that exciting news would take me. What I would feel in my heart, and how I am forever changed.

I am beyond words for all of you readers who continue to read and keep me believing that there is something so beautiful out there. I have been broken down and built up and I am so very thankful for all the readership and kind words from you all. 

This past year has shown me that dreams do come to true and that on occasion we must all do something for ourselves. That something 'small' for me was to go to Dakar. Hands down one of the best decisions in my life so far and I know now that there are many more to come. 

The other day while sitting at dinner with Brad he said "I think that maybe you should go back to Dakar or move there" I laughed, and while he didnt mean it meanly at all --- I asked him why. He responded "You talk about it every day."

And I do. It was so amazing that it deserves to be remembered every day. And the daily constant reminders lets me know that I will be back.

Onto other things. It's November. And with that comes many great things. Most importantly being thankful. I think it is something that many of us over look but since Thanksgiving is in November we should take time to reflect on what we are thankful for. 

I will be back tomorrow with a thankful post.Until then Happy November. 

Be thankful.

Strength

I have found that I have been so overwhelmed lately and have felt that my life is in an uncontrollable downward spiral. I have lost passion, I have had not time to reflect, to be with people I need. The piles are never ending up. While I know this is a picture of my future, man does it suck!

Then Tuesday at noon came where I went and met with Sarah about my project and presentation I have to prepare to give in regards to
Our conversation went something to the extent of:
        "When do you want to work on your project?"
                  "Sigh, uh..."
         "Are you thinking this semester is going to be too much, I just thought you had a specific deadline."
                          "No, just by time I start my internship..."
               "Well we just need to block out big chunks of time, are you thinking you will have that?"
     "Ha. I think I need to make time, maybe having to go through all of this stuff will help refocus why I am  going into this field again..."
                "What's the matter, you don't seem like yourself, you do not seem okay."
                                                     {Tears}

The conversation went on of course and this quote sums up it, and it really was something I needed to hear, it redirected me and put me back on track. I went home so motivated and got so many things accomplished. I found this quote today: "I am a strong person, but every now and then I need someone to take my hand and say everything will be alright." 

Thank you Sarah.

In the past couple of weeks I have been so caught up in school that I have forgotten many things, I have forgotten my focus, drive, passion. I have started to question things. I have started to stress big time. I have just started to slowly see myself become unhappy. But I am refusing to let that keep me down, I am so close to the end, I must keep going. 

Its a hard battle, its something I deal with every day. But I am reminded daily of the struggles others are suffering with on a daily basis and know that while I become overwhelmed I have it so easy. And knowing that is something that is so important to hold onto, it refocuses, it grounds, and it keeps me moving forward. 


I am a firm believer in that everything happens for a reason and while I know that there is not always a direct answer, there usually is one along the way. And while this week I do not have time to be blogging and I really owe Brad a jumbo apology for completing losing it several times this week. Here I am for a brain break.

Anyways, back to my 'everything happens for a reason rant...' Here are my reasons why:

1. Music: The song 'Follow Through' aka what my blog is named after came on while filling in applications and something I based my decision off Africa on. "I bless the rains down in Africa..." Toto was our theme song while in Dakar, we all loved it and it made our bus rides go smoothly. This morning while still waking up I turned on the ipod at work and that line came busting through the speakers. The volume was much louder than it usually was, it made me stop dead in my tracks.

*Last week: completely in over my head, lacking groceries, and a creative mind I went to the local grocery store (similar to Family Fare back home) -- I stood and stared at the Macaroni and Cheese for almost ten minutes, not because I couldn't decide [okay well maybe] but I was spent. I continued down the aisle with a box in my hand [Velveeta, its so bad for you!]. Anyways and there I stopped again in front of the ethic foods section and a song came on Jason Mraz 'You and I Both,' out of my daze I smiled, giggled quietly and thanked God. God puts Jason into my life at all the right moments, as you can probably tell if  you look back on past posts. "You and I Both" is the song that got me hooked on Jason and "I Won't Give Up" held my hand all the way to Dakar and all the way back. Side note: Love is a Four Letter Word is a fantastic CD by Jason. Anyways I firmly believe God puts music into my life when he knows I'm struggling. Regardless of nannying, grocery gazing, or Pandora listening its always a good reminder he is still listening to my heart cries.

2. My Jesus Calling Devotional, I was reading back on some old posts last week and realized I quoted that book a lot while I was away. And while I do not check it every day like I should, sometimes I feel compelled to pick it up, and when I do I am never let down. I am so wonderfully reminded that God is still with me. That book has a way with knowing exactly what I need to hear. 

3. I think I started out having three reasons, but I like my 2 for now.

All will be well. I am looking forward to heading home this weekend,  to taking a mental break at home. Today I am grateful. It's Monday, its a new week. It's time to keep pushing forward. 

Monday Glory [in photos]:

Happy Monday all! Stay dry & be happy!