I wish I had a really amazing way to kick off this post other than not feeling much at all. I am slowly coming to realization of all that I am immersed in over here, and while I am loving it and learning so much from this experience I am completely heartbroken. I know wholeheartedly that I am meant to be here and know that I have a purpose of some sort while here, however I think my expectations were a lot larger than feasible. This picture to me is so powerful, it says so much I was taking film which I am trying to get uploaded successfully on here and Jen caught this as we were driving through the suburbs of Pikine, but it really reflects it all in a weird way right now....
Today I put my head down on the bus and teared up, I no longer wanted to see all that we were passing on the way to the Angela Davis School. I wanted no more pictures, I wanted no more sense of smell. I wanted out. No picture, no scent was going to escape the conditions we are surrounded by here.I wish I could capture the smell around here and bring it back for
all to smell, maybe then something would make the pictures come to life
more. As I look back on my pictures I can smell a stench that consists
of garbage, urine, burnt garbage, death, the smells burns your nostrils
as you walk the streets and tears well from the overwhelming aroma.
I came to Dakar with the expectation that I was going to make a difference, that I would begin a movement. Not to say that I can't I just don't know how I will completely complete that task. The things I have witnessed are numbing, they take it out of you, they break you down, they break your heart. I cry.
I realized how small I am in this big large world we live in, I have nothing to be ashamed of, I have nothing to complain about, I have education, healthcare, food, clean water, a place to call home with four walls and roof, I have a bed to rest on --- I have so much. Back home we are surviving we will never struggle, our problems are nothing to compared to what I've seen. I really have nothing to say to explain the heartache I felt when I returned from Pikine today, that is when it all hit me...
We spent the day at the Angela Davis School where we are celebrities in that town because we are from America. It is a city with 1.2 million people who live in extreme poverty and when I say extreme I'm saying like what you see on the TV ads times one hundred. Things you wouldn't think would be considered a home are. We stick out as you can imagine when we arrive places, however in the Senegalese they will welcome you into their home or school with open arms and treat you as such. We were greeted, introduced, taken on a tour, introduced to the students and then were prepared a feast of some yummy Senegalese food. They will give you so much food that a plate full would feed four back home. However it is okay to turn food down because what ever is not eaten will be given to someone who wasn't able to eat. We were also given ceremonial tea which is a big deal in this culture, it is a series of three rounds of tea, each time they brew it, it gets sweeter. A male will prepare and serve it and will make sure each glass is filled, emptied, filled several times to create a foam and the higher he can have the tea kettle above the glass the smarter and knowledgeable he is. The tea contains a certain tea from here, fresh mint, and lots of sugar!
Unfortunately, I will not be able to post any pictures of the children I am working with because of the research I am doing I do not have clearance or permission to display pictures of the children here. Personally I can but in regards to using my pictures and stuff from my trip here for my research I can only show my pictures on a personal level, so pretty much I have to print them off and show them off so that no one will copy them and use them!
Bottom line they completely melted my heart today, they have it, its in Pikine right now and the pictures show just that. But as we exited the school today the children came swarming to us because we all had cameras that they could see themselves on. The kids are amazing, they are contagious, their eyes and smiles say so much, the pictures I have truly speak a thousand words. The children are beyond precious, they hold on to you, ask for you to take their picture and when you do they swarm you to see it and smile, giggle, and point as they admire themselves. I also handed out pens to them as I boarded the bus, they were grabbing on to me they were begging, then I ran out. I wish I brought more stuff, they need it far more than we do and I have the means to give it to them. They rejuvenated me today, however they really started to break me down, it is such a weird and odd feeling to put into words. It really truly is, but those few pictures that were taken today have already touched me, I cannot even look at them without tearing up.
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