Strength

I have found that I have been so overwhelmed lately and have felt that my life is in an uncontrollable downward spiral. I have lost passion, I have had not time to reflect, to be with people I need. The piles are never ending up. While I know this is a picture of my future, man does it suck!

Then Tuesday at noon came where I went and met with Sarah about my project and presentation I have to prepare to give in regards to
Our conversation went something to the extent of:
        "When do you want to work on your project?"
                  "Sigh, uh..."
         "Are you thinking this semester is going to be too much, I just thought you had a specific deadline."
                          "No, just by time I start my internship..."
               "Well we just need to block out big chunks of time, are you thinking you will have that?"
     "Ha. I think I need to make time, maybe having to go through all of this stuff will help refocus why I am  going into this field again..."
                "What's the matter, you don't seem like yourself, you do not seem okay."
                                                     {Tears}

The conversation went on of course and this quote sums up it, and it really was something I needed to hear, it redirected me and put me back on track. I went home so motivated and got so many things accomplished. I found this quote today: "I am a strong person, but every now and then I need someone to take my hand and say everything will be alright." 

Thank you Sarah.

In the past couple of weeks I have been so caught up in school that I have forgotten many things, I have forgotten my focus, drive, passion. I have started to question things. I have started to stress big time. I have just started to slowly see myself become unhappy. But I am refusing to let that keep me down, I am so close to the end, I must keep going. 

Its a hard battle, its something I deal with every day. But I am reminded daily of the struggles others are suffering with on a daily basis and know that while I become overwhelmed I have it so easy. And knowing that is something that is so important to hold onto, it refocuses, it grounds, and it keeps me moving forward. 


I am a firm believer in that everything happens for a reason and while I know that there is not always a direct answer, there usually is one along the way. And while this week I do not have time to be blogging and I really owe Brad a jumbo apology for completing losing it several times this week. Here I am for a brain break.

Anyways, back to my 'everything happens for a reason rant...' Here are my reasons why:

1. Music: The song 'Follow Through' aka what my blog is named after came on while filling in applications and something I based my decision off Africa on. "I bless the rains down in Africa..." Toto was our theme song while in Dakar, we all loved it and it made our bus rides go smoothly. This morning while still waking up I turned on the ipod at work and that line came busting through the speakers. The volume was much louder than it usually was, it made me stop dead in my tracks.

*Last week: completely in over my head, lacking groceries, and a creative mind I went to the local grocery store (similar to Family Fare back home) -- I stood and stared at the Macaroni and Cheese for almost ten minutes, not because I couldn't decide [okay well maybe] but I was spent. I continued down the aisle with a box in my hand [Velveeta, its so bad for you!]. Anyways and there I stopped again in front of the ethic foods section and a song came on Jason Mraz 'You and I Both,' out of my daze I smiled, giggled quietly and thanked God. God puts Jason into my life at all the right moments, as you can probably tell if  you look back on past posts. "You and I Both" is the song that got me hooked on Jason and "I Won't Give Up" held my hand all the way to Dakar and all the way back. Side note: Love is a Four Letter Word is a fantastic CD by Jason. Anyways I firmly believe God puts music into my life when he knows I'm struggling. Regardless of nannying, grocery gazing, or Pandora listening its always a good reminder he is still listening to my heart cries.

2. My Jesus Calling Devotional, I was reading back on some old posts last week and realized I quoted that book a lot while I was away. And while I do not check it every day like I should, sometimes I feel compelled to pick it up, and when I do I am never let down. I am so wonderfully reminded that God is still with me. That book has a way with knowing exactly what I need to hear. 

3. I think I started out having three reasons, but I like my 2 for now.

All will be well. I am looking forward to heading home this weekend,  to taking a mental break at home. Today I am grateful. It's Monday, its a new week. It's time to keep pushing forward. 

Monday Glory [in photos]:

Happy Monday all! Stay dry & be happy!